Nancy Raine, a gerontologist and marriage and family therapist in Mill Valley, Calif., has helped nearly 40 older adults prepare and process late-life rituals involving hours of retrospect and introspection, art, and music. . “They’re looking at the legacy, reviewing lives, taking stock,” she said. “It is that discovery, a contemplative exercise.” His oldest client was 81 years old.
This spring, Chris Gowers was turning 70 and still mourning his wife, Vicky Gowers, who died just weeks after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2019. “I was a boat without strings,” said Mr. Gowers, a former Bay Area architectural consultant. “I was struggling, trying to figure out my next steps.”
He came to the Center for Conscious Eldering, founded by Ron Pevney, author of “Conscious Living, Conscious Aging,” and decided to join his week-long retreat at Ghost Ranch in Abiquiu, NM with his group of 14, including those in their 50s. people were involved. His 80s spent many days in spiritual practices, exercises and discussions.
For his last ritual, called the “Ekal Yatra”, Mr. Govars chose a private place on the banks of the river. After passing through a portal made of two trees (and a close encounter with a bobcat), he fasted, maintained silence, read poetry, journaled, and wrote “legacy letters” to his two children. “I just spent a lot of time thinking and meditating,” he said, deeply impressed by the experience.
“The result is hopefully happiness and a greater sense of purpose,” he explained. “I feel calmer. I feel a lot more introspective. I listen with an open heart and mind. I may look alike, but I’m different.”
Ms Lerdy pointed out that in addition to helping people view old age as a phase of life with purpose and rewards, with more commonly recognized challenges and drawbacks, rituals for older adults can affect others, Ms. Lerdy said.
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