WFH staffers are having secret sex on the job — and using emojis to hide it

For some freaky sweeties, the “F” in WFH is taking on a whole new meaning. 

Thanks to remote work, Wednesday isn’t the only “hump day.”

A September 2023 report has found that one in four, or just over 25%, of work-from-home employees are having sex on the clock — and naughtily using the “fire,” “smoke,” “sandwich” and “headphones” emojis in their virtual work statuses while enjoying risqué romps.  

“As remote work has become the norm for many workers, our findings show that many couples are taking advantage of the coziness of their own homes to improve their intimate relationships,” study researchers from CalendarLabs, a digital calendar hub, exclusively told The Post. 

“Having these intimate moments during work hours could elevate anticipation and excitement [for partners],” continued the analysts, noting that masking their spank-worthy conduct with cryptic cartoon characters may add another level of sultry spice. 

“Using different emojis to note they are away from their desk seems to be an easy way for remote workers to get intimate during the workday, without coworkers or managers wondering if they’re working,” examiners said.

To determine how many NSFW 9-to-5ers regularly indulge in a little afternoon delight, surveyors polled just over 1,000 sexually active staffers across the U.S. between the ages of 18 to 75. 

Results revealed that the hot-to-trot rebels typically tell their bosses that they’re either out to lunch, in a “fake” meeting or in “deep work” when they’re actually knocking boots. 

A handful of lusty out-of-office lovebirds even admitted to slipping away for a quick roll in the hay during an actual meeting. The revelations echo previous findings which revealed that more than 75% of WFH hedonists masturbate to internet porn between 10 a.m. and 6 p.m. 

And in-office workers aren’t totally off the hook here. 

Probers discovered that one in 10 romantics who’ve returned to their cubicles are actually having sex in the workplace. 

The saucy trend toward getting one’s jollies on the job continues to gain steam as hardworking sweethearts are beginning to prioritize their carnal cravings over team calls and deadlines, experts say. 

“Many couples are penciling in sex during their busy work [days],” the scheduling authorities tell The Post, “and couples who frequently schedule sex note being more satisfied in their relationships.”  

And the X-rated revelers may be on to something — something other than each other, that is. 

A November 2023 study found that folks who value checking work emails over intimate moments with a significant other are overwhelmingly less content with their romantic lives. 

But CalendarLabs — which also revealed that 36% of couples who schedule sex amid their daily grinds enjoy more satisfying action than folks who don’t add it to their calendar’s “to-do” lists — says the uptick in hanky-panky planning is a positive sign for the health of relationships in America. 

“Our findings reveal U.S. couples are using more organized ways to ensure regular intimacy,” said researchers, “and to make time around other family responsibilities.”