“Love is complicated,” says Joe Goldberg, the obsession prone murderer/protagonist of Netflix’s hit series “You.”
You said it there, Joe and fans of the show can’t seem to get enough of that complication, or the show’s other standout themes like obsession, coverups, aliases, cages, the doomed nature of romance, execution, polygamy, mirrored masturbation and the escape/redemption promised by libraries, book stores and the written word itself.
Based on the “You” novels by Scorpio (no surprise there) Caroline Kepnes, the show originally debuted in 2018 on the Lifetime network before making the move to Netflix.
Last season saw Joe and his partner Love navigating the difficult terrain of being new parents and practicing serial killers. Pulpy, hilarious and polarizing, part of the show’s allure is seeing who makes it out alive and/or morally intact. We wait with baited breath
In honor of “You” returning to Netflix on February 10th (just in time for Valentine’s Day) we’re bringing you a list of the characters, both dead and alive, as zodiac signs.
Ellie Alvez
Plucky AF, charismatic as can be, driven to succeed at all costs and born to win in spite and because of opposition and circumstance, Ellie Alzev, played by “Wednesday” star Jenna Ortega is all Aries. Extroverted and unafraid to speak the truth or start over after radical loss, Alvez is true to the fire of her sign.
In the most Taurus sentence of of all time, Cary Conrad tells Joe, “We don’t have to restrain our natural impulses.” Normally for a Taurus those includes the impulse to indulge and control. A self-professed “Master of Self-Optimization,” Cary has a bit of a slick Jesus aesthetic and gives off vitamin cult leader vibes, suggesting a similarity to fellow bull Jim Jones and the possibility that Cary carries a Capricorn moon. Taureans are horny but also honorable so it tracks that Cary would be into contract based, utterly transparent swinging within his marriage.
Will Bettelheim
Only a mentally adroit, conversationally gifted Gemini could talk a psychopath into trusting them and straight out of executing them. Enter our bleached, post card sending pal Will Bettelheim, played by Robin Lord Taylor. Gemini is the sign that represents duality and the proverbial gray area. True to form Will lives on the edge of madness and reason and makes a living helping people become other people. Add to this that air signs share a natural rapport with one another and Gemini Will is the closest thing Aquarius protagonist Joe has to a true friend.
Love Quinn
While Forty and Love Quinn, played by Victoria Pendretti are technically twins, Love displays some tell tale traits of the Cancer contingent. Chief among these are artistic leanings, codependent tendencies, care taking capabilities, wild insecurities, fierce maternal instincts and an unshakable attraction to deeply broken people.
Peach Salinger
A ride or die with an emphasis on die, season one’s Peach Salinger, played by Shay Mitchell is a true blue Leo. This fixed fire sign is associated with royalty and creativity and in the show Peach is related to OG prince of sad boy fiction, ladies and gentlemen J.D. Salinger. Domineering, exceedingly generous and impeccably dressed, Peach proves herself part of the lion pride by throwing an annual party to distract herself from the enduring, unresolved pain of her parent’s divorce.
Astrology 101: Your guide to the stars
Delilah Alves
Like the average Virgo, Delilah Alves, played by Carmela Zumbado, has keen investigative skills and a deep desire to understand the mechanisms of life and the motives of others. Highly observant, detail oriented, communicative and practical (save for her propensity to slum it in the realm of romance) Delilah is true to her mutable, Mercury ruled sun sign.
Sherry Conrad
Likability is currency for this cardinal air sign and Sherry Conrad, played by Shalia Grant is a social media influencer and the leader of an enviable, wealthy clique of moms. Libras like Sherry are adept adapters who can be whoever they need to be for whoever needs them and blend seamlessly into any and all social situations. Add to this that Libra rules the seventh house of partnerships and Sherry’s marriage proves itself to be one of the most surprising, equitable and rock steady relationships television has ever seen.
Candace Stone
Hex rhymes with ex for a reason folks, and Candace Stone, played by Ambyr Childrers is pure Scorpio. This sign rules the genitals and the eighth house of sex, death and transformation. True to form, Candace is back from the dead having clawed her way out of a shallow grave. She’s bent on revenge and unafraid to uses sex as a weapon on her way to it. Candace admits, “You know what they say? You never know if you’re fight or flight until you’re forced to find out. Turns out, I’m fight.” The survival strategy of you and every other Scorpio, sis.
Guinevere Beck
The series gives Guinevere Beck, played by Elizabeth Lail, the birthdate of December 3, making her a certified Sagittarius. The sign fits the blonde in this case as Sag is associated with higher ideals, advanced education and self-improvement by way of natural optimism. For her part, Guinevere is a writer, scholar and therapy patient. She displays her signs tell tale penchant for cheap thrills and high risk behavior in her choice of men. Don’t we all, Beck.
Marienne Bellamy
Businesslike and buttoned up while barely holding it all together, Marienne Bellamy, played by Tati Gabrielle is a Capricorn with a capital C. Sea goats are suspicious of others, ever striving to improve themselves and are usually the product of less than idyllic childhoods. History and habit conspire to make them one of the most resilient signs in the zodiac and true to form, Marienne is left living at the end of season 3.
Joe Goldberg
Joe Goldberg, played with sinister certainty by “Gossip Girl” alum Penn Badgley, is a brilliant oner type into literature and uncomfortable eye contact and unusually adept at wearing masks and assuming aliases. Oscillating between all out obsession and sociopathic detachment, Joe Joe represents some of the darker expressions of the Aquarius archetype. Water bearers are generally interested in promoting their definition of the greater good and are often left feeling like human beings for all their potential, are an eternal let down that in Joe’s case, deserve to be put down. As our protagonist portends, “At the end of the day, people are really just disappointing, aren’t they?”
Forty Quinn
Forty Quinn, played by James Scully is pure Pisces. Gentle, sensitive, predisposed to escape through illegal substances, loyal AF, fragile as Faberge and suggestible enough to confuse abuse for love and take a murder wrap for his sister.
Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience. She is also an accomplished writer who has profiled a variety of artists and performers, as well as extensively chronicled her experiences while traveling. Among the many intriguing topics she has tackled are cemetery etiquette, her love for dive bars, Cuban Airbnbs, a “girls guide” to strip clubs and the “weirdest” foods available abroad.