Couples get their intimate moments ruined almost 20 times a year: new survey

Couples are losing more than the mood: their intimate moments get interrupted 18 times a year on average, according to new research.

A survey polling 1,000 Americans ages 25–54 and in a serious relationship found that for more than 1 in 4 of those who’ve been interrupted, the last interruption ended the moment for the night.

Conducted by Talker Research on behalf of Hunny Labs for its After Hours Report, the survey found that more than half (54%) of those who’ve been interrupted say an interruption leaves them feeling less close to their partner afterward.

The survey, which followed a romantic moment from before it starts to the time right after, found that the most common interruption is the presence of children or someone else in the home (49%). Among interrupted parents with children under 18 at home, that jumps to 68%.

One parent summed it up simply: “Children. It’s always children.”

“Couples don’t realize how much intimacy relies on the feeling that, for a little while, nothing else needs their attention,” said Brent Dyer, a licensed professional counselor and owner of Renewing Hope Counseling in Houston, who has completed Level 2 Training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy. “When a kid needs something, a phone lights up in a buzz of urgency, or a game starts, the interruption might be minor and short, but the mental shift can be large.”

The second most common interruption is one partner becoming too tired (39%), followed by a phone ringing or buzzing (35%).

Other common interruptions were found to be noises from somewhere in the home (25%), a pet getting in the way (24%), a doorbell ringing or a delivery person arriving (22%), physical discomfort or awkward positioning (20%), and lingering thoughts of work or chores (19%).

Speaking of pets — half (50%) of interrupted couples whose pet sleeps in the bedroom say they’ve had a pet disrupt things, compared to just 11% of those without a pet in the bedroom.

Many think they have it worse than most: 38% of those who’ve been interrupted believe it happens to them more often than to other couples.

Despite the interruptions, the desire is there: 53% said they would like to be intimate with their partner more often than they currently are.

“Couples aren’t losing desire — they’re losing the hour,” said Becky Robinson, co-founder of Hunny Labs. “What gets in the way is what we call the pause, and we’ll measure it every year so couples can see just how common it is. You can’t prevent every interruption, but small rituals, like closing the door or putting on music, turn ordinary hours into after hours. That’s the time we built our company around.”

The Hour Before: How Couples Set the Scene

Seventy-seven percent of respondents said they have few “signals” to set the scene before getting intimate.

These signals can be subtle, like simply closing or locking the door (38%). They can also be more direct, such as intentionally putting their phone away or on silent (31%), putting on some music (29%), or adjusting the lighting (27%).

Even the thermostat can be a sticking point: 60% of couples who live together disagree about how warm or cool the bedroom should be.

Phones stay close at hand, too: two-thirds (66%) keep their phone within reach during romantic encounters, and just 7% typically leave it in another room, even though half (50%) have tried keeping phones out of the room.

Once the scene has been set, couples want the moment to last. To cut down on interruptions, 31% of those who’ve been interrupted have set aside dedicated time together, 30% have talked with their partner about the interruptions, and 18% have evicted their pet from the bedroom.

The Hour After: Why Connection Matters

Most (79%) agree that the time right after matters just as much as the moment itself.

Yet fewer than half (48%) say they usually stay close right after the moment ends, and 27% admit to checking their phone within the first five minutes.

“Busy couples in longer-term relationships have so many competing priorities, so sex often goes to the wayside,” said Dr. Jenn Kennedy, a sex and couples therapist and owner of Riviera Therapy. “When they do make time for it, small interruptions can easily derail their best intentions. One of the biggest culprits is technology, so I encourage leaving phones on silent or out of the bedroom altogether.”

Research methodology:

Talker Research surveyed 1,000 Americans aged 25 to 54 in cohabiting or regular-partner relationships (gender balanced) who have access to the internet; the survey was commissioned by Hunny Labs and administered and conducted online by Talker Research between October 7, 2026 – October 9, 2026.