“Hey baby, what’s your sign?”
The phrase ‘hit on’ has several possible origins, the closest synonym to the word is strike, which is violent at worst and vaguely predatory at best, according to The New York Times. The phrase also has been to fish snacking on bait without taking the hook as “hitting on the bait.”
Why the aggression, the angling and the animals folks? Intro to psych leads me to believe it is because we are a sexually repressed and emotionally hungry people who have been taught to bury desire and view mating and dating as a sport.
The history of the word “flirt” is similarly rife with weirdness including allusions to the secret language of hand fans.
Since much of intimacy has moved online, flirting has taken the form of text exchanges and blessedly moved away from ill advised one liners delivered slightly intoxicated on the club dance floor. Bonus: many dating app users provide their zodiac signs in their profiles, which gives a bit of a guideline for approaching a potential love interest.
Regardless of the environment in which they are delivered, the best pick up lines are not funny, cheesy, dirty, cute, sexual, or smooth, they are original. It’s perhaps best to think of a pick up line as a pathway to conversation, what is likely to create engagement and gauge interest. With this in mind, let’s shed some light and spit some game through and to the zodiac signs.
ARIES (March 21 – April 19)
“What crime should we commit together?”
Usually, you won’t have to make the first move with an Aries as this cardinal fire sign is inclined to be very clear and vocal about who they want and what they expect. If you are intent on piquing their interest, then go full tilt towards the unexpected, the shocking and anything that sounds like a dare.
TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)
“What would your last meal be?”
Taurus is the gourmand of the zodiac and bulls spend more time than most thinking about what they’re going to eat. Asking them what their last meal would be is a direct line to their hearts, which coincidentally are made of pepperoni. This line of inquiry naturally progresses to a dinner invitation and if you offer to cook, their carefully constructed emotional ramparts, mortared with garlic aioli and the ashes of those that have crossed them, will begin to crumble.
GEMINI (May 21 – June 20)
“Describe yourself in three words”
Geminis love language, need structure, and lean into an opportunity to show off how clever they can be and this is an invitation that courts all criteria. Ruled by Mercury, planet of exchange, Geminis tend to be approachable and talkative so you’re likely to get a novella of self-references in lieu of a trinity of descriptions but this question ensures the proverbial flood gates of conversation will be properly propped open.
CANCER (June 21 – July 22)
“Tell me your earliest childhood memory”
Cancer rules the fourth house of home and root systems and crabs can oft be found reaching for the past for comfort or catharsis. While there’s admittedly a bit of intensity and intimacy to this query, Cancer people are allergic to the superfluous and put off by cheap charm. A question that’s hard hitting, history specific and implies a genuine interest that pierces the surface and reaches beyond the immediate will get them thinking, feeling and talking.
LEO (July 23 – August 22)
“I bet you can’t dance”
Atop a Leos hierarchy of needs are attention, adulation, applause and affection. To really engage them, absolutely ignore them or give them something to prove. It will ruffle their manes and stoke their spirit of competition/competency. It’s psychological warfare, it’s emotional terrorism and it is absolutely effective.
VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)
“What is your apocalypse skill set?”
Above all else, Virgos seek to be of service. The anxious survivalist of the zodiac these people spend a lot of time thinking about what to do when disaster strikes and considering the ways in which they will be of use when/if the end of days arrives. A practical earth sign, they are interested in sharing their know how and gently appraising a potential partner of what they are fit to bring to the apocalypse party.
LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)
“I have a feeling we should know each other”
Libras are terminally indecisive which means they respond well to declarative statements and the assuredness of others. If you tell a Libra what they want there’s a strong chance they will be apt to agree. They’re also low key vain so it’s advisable to compliment them about something unexpected, the arch of their eyebrows or their taste in ascots and artisanal bitters for instance.
SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21)
“I am going to tell you two truths and a lie.”
Scorpios pride themselves on their superior powers of perception and ability to discern fact from fiction and authenticity from bull***t. Telling them you are about to impart a lie and offering them the chance to identify it makes their blood quicken just enough to entertain the idea that you might be interesting enough to talk to or tie up later.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21)
“If you could choose to know the exact moment you were going to die, would you?”
No one loves a philosophical debate or a hypothetical life and death query quite like a Sagittarius. I admittedly borrowed this question from Drew Barrymore’s mentally unstable character in the seminal 1995 film “Mad Love” but the energy barks of Sagittarius. Regardless of whether they answer yes or no, take on the role of devil’s advocate. Once you get them talking, the good times and banter are bound to roll.
CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19)
“What was your best Halloween costume?”
Capricorns are hard nuts to crack or goats to shear. Because Halloween costumes speak to who we wish we were or a way we wish we could be, hearing about the disguises they’ve donned and the masks they’ve worn gets them to reveal more about themselves than usual. Bonus: If things progress in the future, and consent is secured, you can ask them if they still have it (they will) and if they would be willing to wear it for you in a role play scenario. Everybody wins.
AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18)
“What do you think about black holes?” and/or “Would you go to space if you knew that you could never come back to earth? ”
Courting an Aquarius is about convincing them that an exchange with you is more rewarding and time spent alone, or in the thrall of their own imagination. You need to get weird, you better be smart and in my experience, its best to bring outer space into the equation.
PISCES (February 19 – March 20)
“If you were an ice cream flavor, what would you be?”
Pisces are a dreamy sort that can get on board with a cold open about soft serve. It is crucial that you know your own flavor. Possible answers include coffee and nervous attachment, toffee and trust issues, bourbon and wit, cookies and criminal records etc. The most forgiving of all the zodiac signs, even if you fail or falter at delivery, these people will appreciate your effort and reward you for it.
Astrology 101: Your guide to the stars
Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience. She is also an accomplished writer who has profiled a variety of artists and performers, as well as extensively chronicled her experiences while traveling. Among the many intriguing topics she has tackled are cemetery etiquette, her love for dive bars, Cuban Airbnbs, a “girls guide” to strip clubs and the “weirdest” foods available abroad.