My mother-in-law changed my baby’s name while I was sleeping and my husband never told me

MILs get a bad rep, but this one takes the cake. 

Taking to an advice column, one new mom vented about how her MIL managed to talk her husband into changing their newborn’s name while she was asleep, recovering from her C-section.

People responded furiously in the comments and the advice columnist even went as far as to tell the mom it’s a “fireable offense” against her husband. 

“His mom guilt-tripped him while I was asleep.”

The mom wrote: “‘My son is two months old and I just discovered my husband spelled our son’s middle name as ‘Finlay’ instead of ‘Finley’ on all of his legal documentation.

“I, of course, am furious, because I told him I was fine with the middle name, but it had to be spelled Finley, and he agreed before our son was ever born. His mother even sent a Christmas gift to the middle name ‘Finlay,’ and when I made a comment to my husband he didn’t even have the decency to tell me!

“He just let me keep believing for two months that our son’s middle name was spelled Finley when it legally isn’t! I discovered this all when I went looking for his Social Security card and birth certificate to file them away properly. He says he regretted it as soon as the card came and has been afraid to tell me.”

That’s pretty bad already, but here’s where it gets worse.

“Apparently his mother guilt-tripped him into doing this while I was asleep after my emergency C-section,” she continued. “Keep in mind she lives a few states away, so this was all over the phone. She tried to convince him to give our son a first name that I very much hated, saying that I would ‘get mad, but get over it.’

“My husband thought changing his first name was too much but apparently gave in to spelling his middle name the way his mom wanted. She thinks that ‘Finlay’ is more masculine than ‘Finley.’”

The poster is livid that her MIL “blatantly disrespected” her over “something as serious as the spelling of their son’s name”. 

She then concluded her post by asking for advice about how to broach this with her mother-in-law; should she confront her directly or go through her husband?

“You and your kid deserve so much better”

The advice columnist replied: “If I were in your situation, I would not approach the offending in-law about this issue because I’d be afraid an actual fistfight would break out.

“Secondly, what in the entire f**k is up with your husband? He’s got to decide if you are his co-parent or if his mother is. And until he makes that decision, he can’t be trusted.”

And people in the comments followed this line of thinking.

“YES, the MIL is an opinionated, interfering pain in the a**s. But how exactly did she ‘manipulate’ the husband?” one pointed out, adding that they thought it was “100% a husband problem” not a “MIL problem.”

“Make him fix it. Then go forward with the understanding that your MIL is an opinionated, interfering pain in the a** who will likely never change. Let’s just hope the husband does.”

Another suggested: “Change your kid’s name to what you want and just don’t plan trips to see your MIL ever again. Your husband sounds like a worthless sack so it’s doubtful he will make the effort to do so, you can excise her from your life with little effort.”

And a different person wrote: “I would never forget or forgive that, from either of them.”

“You and your kid deserve so much better,” someone else concluded.