What a ring-a-ling.
An Australian man had to be hospitalized after passing out with nine metal bands constricting his scrotum following a botched attempt to improve his performance in the boudoir.
Doctors detailed the case study’s “rare case of penile strangulation” — complete with his rescue by fire fighters — in the medical journal Urology Case Reports.
The 44-year-old patient was rushed to the emergency room with “nine heavy duty industrial stainless-steel rings stuck around the base of the penis and scrotum” for a whopping 12 hours, according to the study authors.
The unfortunately soul, who was reportedly intoxicated at the time, had reportedly utilized his bizarre bedding bands in a half-baked attempt to maintain an erection during sexual intercourse.
He reportedly passed out following the hanky-panky session, after which he awoke three hours later in “significant pain.”
Following his failed game of ring toss, the sexperimenter reported the hospital in distress and agony.
A subsequent examination revealed that his groin was swollen, tender and bruised, whereupon doctors administered the patient intravenous anesthetics to alleviate his pain from his slinky-esque affliction.
Surgeons then attempted to removed the industrial-strength rings — which measured just 0.4 inches in diameter — using bolt cutters but to no avail.
Left with little other recourse, they enlisted the aid of the local fire-department, who arrived shortly thereafter and cut the rings off with an industrial-grade circular saw while he was under general anesthesia.
Due to the inherent risk of performing such a delicate surgery with power tools, surgeons placed a tongue depressor between the penis and the saw to prevent any mishaps.
Meanwhile, sterilizing the penis with saline solution helped mitigate the risk of a saw-induced thermal injury.
While the surgery was a success, the patient didn’t entirely emerge from the ordeal unscathed.
A cystoscopy — a procedure to look inside the bladder using a thin camera — found that the patient’s urethra was irritated and swollen, which required doctors to fit it with a catheter for one week.
Meanwhile, the patient — somewhat ironically — experienced minor erectile dysfunction following the saga.
This is far from the first time someone has suffered from agonizing scrotal constriction.
Last year, a nother Australian man nearly lost part of his penis after errant public hair ensnared the tip and cut off its circulation like a grotesque garrote.
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