If sleeping with your partner is hurting your marriage, it might be time to file for a sleep divorce.
Many couples are getting a sleep divorce — getting their Zz’s in either separate beds or rooms to improve their personal sleep quality.
Partners can sometimes disrupt a good night’s sleep whether it be from snoring, blanket hogging or setting an alarm earlier than your wake-up time due to different schedules.
Social media users have even started to talk about the phenomenon, with 356,400 views for the hashtag “#sleepdivorce” on TikTok.
One couple on TikTok shared that one of them has the “greatest sleep of her life” and doesn’t understand why the other is “sleepless” — so a sleep divorce can be necessary.
“Night time comes the time where we just disconnect,” they shared.
And sleep experts believe there could be benefits to a sleep breakup.
“There are benefits for some partners to sleep separately,” said Dr. Erin Flynn-Evans, a consultant to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, told CBS News. “Studies demonstrate that when one bed partner has a sleep disorder it can negatively affect the other sleeper.”
“For example, bed partners tend to wake up at the same time when one has insomnia. Similarly, when bed partners differ in chronotype, like when one is a night owl the other is an early bird, these differing sleep preferences can negatively impact both partners’ sleep.”
However, it might be a good thing to share a bed even with signs of sleep disruption from your partner, as it could be cause for concern.
Having a partner in bed can allow someone else to notice sleep patterns and help detect possible conditions or sleep disorders you might be unaware of.
“For example, a person might report that their bed partner snores loudly, prompting them to seek treatment for sleep apnea,” Flynn-Evans said.
Flynn-Evans noted that if a partner is having sleep issues, the solution shouldn’t be to automatically sleep in different beds.
“Couples should always seek treatment from a professional to identify sleep disorders. This is the only way to make sure both partners will obtain the best sleep they can, no matter where they end up sleeping,” she urged.
Dr. Daniel Shade, a sleep specialist with Allegheny Health Network, previously told CBS Pittsburgh that couples will know whether or not there are issues with disruption, but if there are no sleep problems, “by all means, sleeping in the same bed is better.”
“We release oxytocin and some other chemicals that are called ‘the cuddling hormones’ and things that give us a good feeling and bring us closer to that person we’re imprinting upon that we’re with,” he explained.